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Monday, March 30, 2009

Must Have Title Ka?

No no no..I am not going to babble much this time. Will try to make it short and sweet.

I spoke to my pillow before going to bed last night, tapping on it gently and reminding it to wake me up at 4.30am the next morning for I had to complete marking some exam scripts. Both of my phones are not working, could not charge the batteries, perhaps because of the chargers. Hubby is away in Sabah attending the funeral of his Nenek. So, in other words, I had no alarm clock to wake me up, thus made a pact with my pillow. (Call me a weirdo, but the results have always been satisfactory.)

So, at about 4.45am this morning, my loyal friend woke me up, but too bad I did not get to complete my work as I had to prepare the kids. If only hubby was around, at least he could help out with combing of Adam's hair et cetera. I usually take extra time applying different types of creams for different areas of the face. Then comes the concealer, foundation and powder. I will try to paint my face so that I will look natural..hahahha..Try to figure that out.

Then, it was time to leave. Suddenly, I realized I left my Nano Can on the kitchen counter. For your information, since the day I discovered what this Nano Can can do to me, to my skin escpecially, I have decided to only drink, clean and bathe the water from the can. Strange but true. I am so vain, I know that.

So I went back upstairs to claim my treasure, it was already 6.45 am.

When I was driving, I realized that the car was not being her usually self. Perhaps she was telling me that, "Hey madam, have the courtesy of warming up the engine for few minutes la..".

As I was driving, I saw a sign blinking near the speedo metre, goodness, so I reached for the manual. Yeah, I was driving and at the same time trying to read the manuals, if only my phones were working, perhaps I could report this to my hubby. But I had to burst my bubbles, it was just me and the kids in the car, with that thing blinking and strange sound coming from the engine.

I drove with great caution. I would usually speed. Hubby has several times warned me about speeding, as honestly, I am still a 'P' driver..hahha. But I know I am a skillful 'P'.

Sent the kids, stuck in the jam just few metres away from school, with that thing blinking on the speedo metre and the unusual sound coming from the engine. Oh yes, I realised that the temperature was near half too.

At last, I arrived school at 7.22am. I was 2 minutes late. Dang!

The moment I arrived school, realising there are still so many things yet to be accomplished, I panicked. But firstly, I had to seek a second opinion from a colleague about the strange happenings of my car.

Affendi was very helpful, he said it is common for the temperature to be of 4 bars in continental cars. Now about the sign, according to the manual, it had something to do with the gear..oh my God, I can see Ringgit notes flapping their wings away from my hubby's pockets..not mine, ok..I do not have pockets.

So I should send her to the service center. I mean, hubby should, not me.

Then, I realised that I have not taken my breakfast, but too bad, no time as the lesson was about to start in 5 minutes. I had to rush to the class but suddenly I became lightheaded, then 'kedebab', I collapsed. Luckily I gained conscious seconds after that. My knees and palms were scratched, but my pride was injured..shoot man, punya maintain graceful suddenly boleh jatuh. I bet I fell down with style. Embarrassed, I told an onlooker that I was suppose to be on an MC, pretending not fit to work la, thus 'fainted'.

By 1.30pm, I have managed to settle some task, but there are more still on KIV. Suddenly, I realised that I had to pick up the kids from school, their school ends at 1.00pm. I was late! Rushed to the car, pressed the remote to unlock, but there was no sound. "You silly French girl, don't try to fool me!", I said. I failed to open the door.

Took the cab to fetch Sarah and Adam, arrived at 5 minutes to 2.00pm. The kids were starving. Poor kids. I had to let them play on my school ground for I had to attend to a meeting.

A friend managed to open the door to my car, but could not start the car. Then a student came up to tell me that my headlights were on. Hence, the car had to 'sleep' at my school as the battery 'dah kong'. Well, this is not the first time for her to have a sleepover here as about a month ago, I have missplaced my car keys, so took a cab home. I was understress at that time.

So I decided to take a cab to KL Sentral, where hubby parked his car before leaving on the jet plane to Sandakan, Sabah early Sunday morning.

If anyone of you today, saw a lady holding 3 bags and a plastic bag loaded with frozen kuih pau and cucur badak, with 2 kids in tow, flagging a cab, in front of SMKAB, situated on the ever so busy Jalan Kampung Pandan, well that was me and the kids.

Ah..at last, after twice taking the wrong elevator to the parking lot in KL Sentral, I have found my hubby's car. I have expected for the fees to be near RM60, yeah I was right. It cost us RM56.40. Nevermind, at least now we had wheels to go home.

Driving his car was challenging, as I am used to driving mine. Mine is French and his is Korean, thus the signals and wipers are on different sides, his is lighter while mine is the opposite, but his sound system is better, of course.

Arrived home safely. Ah at last, what a day! Took cold shower, scrubbed myself..home sweet home.

As I was about to perform my solat, suddenly I heard a loud ringing..Goodness, the smoke alarm went off. The maid and Sarah were frying some beef patties, there was smoke in the living room, Didi, my youngest was disturbed by it and she was wailling. Imagine the chaos. I found the alarm, but did not have a clue on how to shut it off. I had to think and act fast before the security calls the fire department. So took a ladder, reached out for it, and dismantled it.

Luckily we decided not to install sprinklers.

P/S: Gosh, broke my word. I have written a long winded entry. Sorry, cannot help it.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

When I Grow Up

"Mummy, I am getting married", said Sarah, as she greeted me at the door. I said OK. She jumped merrily and announced, "Yeah, boleh kahwin!"

"So who are you going to marry, dear"?

"Harry Potter". Smittened.

"Why Harry Potter?"

"Because he is SO handsome (she curled her arms as she said this, eyes sparkled with excitement, lips curved into a sheepish smile). He speaks good English, I think he is very clever, la mummy, because he is wearing a pair of spectacles like I do. The colour of his skin is nice and his hair style is nice too..but he is SO handsome, la mummy..". With this, she went on skipping in excitement.

Sarah, my eldest daughter, is only 8. (She would have corrected me here, " I am 8 plus, mummy, in few months' time I will be 9". Yeah, when I was about her age, I longed to be older, for the prospect of enjoying a dose of liberty to decide on my life, made me looking forward for every birthday celebrated. But now, I wish my years to just stop adding up. Anyway, I am still 27 at heart!

Being seasoned with life's ups and downs, I believe I have become a little bit wiser. I wish I could tell her that one should not be disillusioned by the outward beauty of something. The inherent beauty should be the paramount criteria in choosing a partner for life.

But, hey..you am I kidding? I was a bum who was stuck to these kinds of cosmetic mambo jumbos in my quest of looking for that other significant half. But, I believe, a heart must be decorated with scars, before it beats on smoothly. Whatever that means!

I was 'violently' in love with Kenneth Babyface Edmonds. Even though the face is not much to adore, he possesses great talents as a song writer. I shall not elaborate more on his achievements, but perhaps it is suffice to state here that he has help to shape the international music industry.

Now, this may sound like a childhood infatuation tale for you, but bear with me, for my 'devotion' to this illusion has mould my views on the type of man I chose to be associated to.

I was in a 4 years' relationship with a rugger, whose best friend was an ex-boy of mine. I went out with this All Blacks Haka-wanna-be because, "At last", I said to myself, "I have found someone who is taller and shoulders broader than mine". In addition, he is kind and generous, though initially, those qualities were somewhere below in my wishlist of the ideal man. After years of courting, I discovered that he was too simple and laidback to my liking. Honestly speaking, I was so many times embarrased by his bad command of English. I know I was cruel, but what to do, I WAS more attracted to blokes who speak English like Prince Charles!

So, bye bye Mr. Rugger, hello Mr.Orator. This time, it was very scandalous. I believe my selfishness in prolonging with the relationship has caused great emotional damages to me and my family. What was I thinking? Mr. Orator seemed to fit in all of the criteria of an ideal man for me. He was intelligent, principled, tall, dark but not so handsome, has excellent command of English, famous among his friends (for virtuos reasons, of course), independant, but not so rich. We were an item for almost 3 years till one day, he rang me up to announce that he was leaving Malaysia, looking for a greener pasture, with another girl! I felt that I have been fooled, but I did not shed a tear, as somewhere in the little corner of my heart, I was elated with my newfound freedom.

The roller coaster ride in my life has changed my views on the ideal man for me. Even though, fluency in English was still paramount, now it was in the contents of the heart that really mattered. Later, I have found someone who seemed to fit in all the criteria. But, unfortunately, I was too blind to see things through, even though so many cues were given for any plain Jane to comprehend. Too bad I ain't a plain Jane, you need to have enough guts to tell a girl how much she means to you, or else you will miss the train. Frankly, I am glad that he missed it.

I have no regrets, not worth of fretting for. Life would be dull if you get everything that you want.

In a nutshell, I am not going to tell Sarah how she should lead her life. Especially when it is about her choice of guys (how I wish this would be a singular!). I will be by her side to provide her with some pointers, I will not preach to her and impose on her with MY worldview.

If she wants to dream on being Harry Potter's little wife, so be it, I shall not burst her bubbles and severe the trust she has given me in learning the contents of her heart. I hope she would still share with me her fear and happiness forever. I know how hurtful it is having a daughter who is unwilling to open up her heart to her own mother. I wish to bridge the gap to her heart.

I pray that she would listen to her heart and reflect on life in her journey to womanhood. I know, in the process, I would be fretting, blood pressure will be going up and heart beat becoming irregular. I do not mind, Sarah, mummy wants you to be true to your heart and to others too.

* Now, as for you, my dear friends, since we have gone through so many things in life..phew..let me entertain you with my favourite song, sung by my one and only, Babyface. Hopefully, this song would set the 'mood' of whatever heavenly mood you want to be in. It does magic to me. Enjoy! (click on it if you have the time).

Monday, March 23, 2009

The White Sheet

Left the school two hours after it ended at 2.30pm. I thought I would be able to finish marking the papers by then, but too bad I was wrong. My mind was heavy with thoughts of the kids at home, I wondered if they have taken their lunch, have they bathe so on and so forth.

I saw, my colleague, Wan Rosna on the field, coaching her hockey team. The day was extremely sunny but she was attired in her Baju Kurung, well, she is a dedicated teacher. For the past few years she has been coaching the netball team, and they have become the defending champion since she took over the coaching of the team. This year, she is put in charge of hockey, perhaps she can do her magic for this team too.

Then, I saw Shahbuddin's car, still parked under the shaddy tree. No sign of leaving the school yet. Encik Shahbuddin is the mastermind behind SMK Aminuddin Baki's unique timetable. This man manages the Examination Unit, the pulse of SAB. Without him, goodnes..I simply cannot imagine how chaotic it is going to be. I hang around at his office nowadays. There are other regulars too, Rasidah, Mizz Mas, Rona, Roni, Mizan and Adzrina, all ladies. We love Shahbuddin's jovial company. He enjoys cooking, decorating and gardening. Above all, he has a great sense of humour. There would be never a day without us having a good laugh when he is around.

When I am up in the staffroom, to pick up my stuff, usually, Kalai would be there to entertain me with stories of her banker hubby and of course her intelligent daughter, Aishwarya. There would be moments when we share our experience clubbing..hahah..for me, the been there done that things. Usually, Len would intercept from her workplace opposite (gracefully loud), perhaps because she too does not want to miss the action. When we are in the mood of being nasty to you-know-who, we would chant our rounds of not-so-nice words, just to relieve ourselves. This would all take place at my workplace.

As I was about to slot my card into the punchcard machine (whatever you call it), the clerk called out my name. She signaled me to take a piece of white sheet of paper from her table. So I obliged. She said, "Nah, Kak Ida simpan sebagai kenangan" (Keep this as a momento).

In my hands was a piece of paper, signed by Her Majesty the Principal. The paper lists all of the duties and responsibilities that I have to shoulder for the year 2009. This is for formality. If I shirk from accomplishing any of the duties stated, I will be made liable for a show cause letter. This is an order, I have been told over and over.

Well, I am only one person, a teacher at school but a wife to my hubby and mother to 4 kids. Phew, I wish it would be that easy, I mean when I am just being the teacher, just one job. Unfortunately, that is not the case here. A teacher is the jack of all treads..she is the teacher, janitor, clerk, typist, nurse, motivator, garderner (in some cases), sports instructor, driver and the list goes on and on..so, when do we actually spend quality time with our students just like our teachers used to do.

Say no more, I would like to share with you my duties for 2009.

1. Secretary General for PTA
2. Teacher Advisor Literary and Debating Club (Niche)
3. Coordinator for Students' Attendance Record for all Lower Forms
4. Chief Assessor (School) for PLBS for PMR
5. Coordinator for the English Language (Form 3)
6. Asst. House Master for Red (sports)
7. Class teacher for 3 Jaya
8. Coordinator for Students of Asrama FELDA Semai Bakti

So what do you think? This does not include all the documentions, reports, marking of exam scripts and other exercises, setting of exam questions, stapling of the exam papers and hundreds of worksheets and the immediate fulfillment of some other ad hoc duties (usually, if there is any VIP visiting, I would be made in charge of the invitation of the VIPs or worse as the Emcee).

Tell me, when is the time for me to sit down peacefully talking to the students. I am thankful for the brief light moments shared with my colleagues, we are not robots programmed to focus on our tasks only, you know.

I am sad to leave school, the students and friends who have fulfilled my life. But I shall not look back as I have no more passion and patience for all these mambo jambos. If you want me to teach, teach I will, but if you want me to enslave my all to this, so sorry, I have to leave.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

An Ode to the Man

Dear Wife,

Please forgive me for addressing you as such, for that is what I feel of you now.

You cannot read what is on my mind, I will not allow you to. You will only learn of the contents up here through me. I will tell you what is bothering me if I want to talk about it. I will try to solve my problems MY way, if ever I reached to a dead end, perhaps I will talk to you. I aspect you to just listen and digest. You may advice me when I ask you to. Sometimes I do not trust your womanly intuition. What is that anyway?

Now, please do not start about that other woman. She means nothing to me. Well, she WILL be something if you keep on pestering me about her! Do not make me regret for putting my cards on the table. I am trying my best to be true here, please do not use it against me. I am the innocent one here, it was she who initiates everything, you must trust me that everything that I have told you is nothing but the truth. Now, please do not ask me more, for I do not want to hurt you with the details.

O, don't cry please, have I hurt you? What did I say just now? No, please don't start speculating. I am not that scandalous. I know what I am doing. When you cry, you make me feel bad. I am not a bad person. You asked me, so I told you the truth. Now you are crying and blaming me for hurting you. What do you want from me actually? Please stop accusing me now. It is not as bad as it seems.

I do not want to talk about it anymore. I am sorry for sharing this with you. I am hurt too. I thought you would listen to me.

You have your girlfriends to confide in, but I have nobody. What would my pals say if they knew about this woman? They would place a bet on it and encourage me to go for it. You know how nasty these guys can be sometimes.

I want to be true to you, can't you see? I want to share my fears with you, but can you please stop blaming me? Can you please stop crying now? I am not cheating on you. I am not a bad person. I just need someone to talk to, please listen and talk to me like you always do with our kids. Am I not significant to you anymore?

I am tired. Can I have my dinner now? What? You have not fixed dinner? That's fine, I'll fix something for myself.

Your husband


Ida : Perhaps we would be able to solve many marital crises if only we listened to our man more attentively. We want them to understand our womanly instincts, but the truth is that they can never do. They are not suppose to know us like the back of their hands, for that will kill the excitement in life.

It is tiresome to fret too much about your man. To apprehend bad things to happen will weed out happiness in one's life.

I know, because I used to be the wet blanket in this marriage. I was a fool. I was a young wife then, who was unable to discriminate reality from a fairy tale like life.

I know I am blessed for having him in my life. I could not ask him more except to have patience with me, for I am still an amatuer in this game.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Please forgive me, dear friends (especially Farina and Somuffin), for I had to delete my recent post, entitled "Fetus".

I appreciate your time reading it, but I had to remove it. Hubby was rather upset with my audacity discussing it in public.

I mean no harm, honestly, I feel sorry for the girl. I believe, being a juvenile, she is innocent. Hubby thinks I should just keep my views to myself, as this involves the people he knows.

I did not mean to humiliate her, for I did not mention any names. Perhaps, my graphic elaboration on her delivery process could cause unpleasant images to my readers. Please forgive me for that.

I do not appreciate people telling me what I ought and oughtn't do, but in this case, I am willing to tolerate. I'm doing this so that the space that I am enjoying right now would not be taken away from me. I will be more careful next time.

Forgive me for the inconvenience caused.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Tentang Cinta

Dear friends,

A friend sent this to me. I thought I have found love long time ago. I thought I could love only once. I have been searching for true love in the wrong places. I wanted a love so true, but I was unable to love truly.

They say marriage is a gamble. I do not think that is true. I would not gamble on something that gives me the reason to live. So if marriage is a gamble, who are the losers and who will be the winners? And I wonder too, what is at stake? Our feelings? Our children?

I am greatful, yes I am..even though there are times I could only just bite my lips while tears streaming down my cheeks. But in this love, I do find peace.

Suatu pagi yang dingin, terjadilah satu perbualan antara seorang guru sastera dan para pelajarnya.Tiba-tiba terpacul pertanyaan dari salah seorang pelajarnya: "Guru, apakah erti cinta? Bagaimanakah saya boleh mendapatkannya?"

Balas Guru tersebut: "Ada sebuah sawah padi yang luas di kampung ini, berjalanlah kamu dan jangan sesekali kamu berundur di dalam sawah padi dan kamu hendaklah perhatikan ranting-ranting padi. Sekiranya kamu mendapati ranting tersebut sangat menakjubkan, penuh dengan padi yang subur, cantik & bersih. Kamu ambillah satu ranting padi, di sini ertinya kamu telah menemui cinta."Keesokannya, sebelum pelajar tersebut pergi ke sekolah dia melakukan seperti apa yang guru sasteranya arahkan.

Pelajar tersebut pun berjalan di dalam sawah padi dan tidak berapa lama dia kembali dengan tangan yang kosong.

Di sekolah, Guru bertanya: "Mengapa kamu tidak membawa sebatang ranting pun?" Pelajar menjawab: "Saya hanya terpaksa memilih satu ranting saja, dan sewaktu berjalan saya tidak boleh mengundur kebelakang semula seperti diarahkan guru. Sebenarnya saya telah berjumpa dengan satu ranting yang paling menakjubkan tapi saya tak tahu apakah wujud yang lebih menakjubkan di hadapan sana nanti, maka saya biarkan ranting itu, lalu saya dapati tidak ada lagi ranting yang paling menakjubkan selain daripada yang saya lihat tadi. Jadi saya tidak mengambil sebatang pun akhirnya."

Gurunya menjawab: "Ye, itu lah cinta..."

Pada hari lainnya pula pelajar tersebut bertanya kepada gurunya, apa itu perkahwinan?

Gurunya menjawab, "Baiklah kini saya mahu awak masuk ke dalam hutan yang ada perhampiran dengan kampung awak. Berjalanlah kamu di dalamnya, akan tetapi seperti yang sebelum ini, janganlah kamu sesekali mengundur kebelakang. Tebanglah sepohon pokok saja, dan tebanglah jika kamu merasakan bahawa pohon tersebut adalah yang paling cantik, segar dan tinggi, kerana kamu telah menemukan apa itu perkahwinan pada pokok tersebut."Hari seterusnya pelajar tersebut pun berjalan, dan tidak berapa lama, dia datang semula dengan membawa sepohon kayu, walaupun pohon tersebut tidaklah berapa segar, cantik dan tinggi pada pandangan guru tersebut.

Maka gurunya pun bertanya: "Mengapa kamu memotong pohon seperti ini?" Pelajar itu menjawab: "Sebab berdasarkan pengalaman saya sebelum ini di sawah padi. saya hanya berjalan separuh daripada hutan tersebut dan saya takut akan kembali dengan tangan kosong. Jadi saya mengambil kesempatan menebang pohon ini lalu dibawa kesini. Pada pandangan saya ianya adalah pohon yang terbaik buat saya. Saya tidak mahu kehilangannya atau menyesal kerana tidak memilihnya."

Maka guru itu menjawab dalam senyuman: "Itulah perkahwinan."

Kesimpulan yang kita dapat dari kisah guru & pelajarnya. Kita usahlah terlalu memilih cinta, ditakuti kita akan terlepasnya, dan janganlah kita terlalu terlalu memilih jodoh & pasangan, terimalah pasangan kita dengan seadanya. Tidak ada manusia yang sempurna di dunia ini. Setiap insan pasti ada kelebihan dan kekurangannya. Ada pasangan yang kita perhatikan & sangka amat sempurna tetapi belum tentu kita tahu isi hati mereka terhadap pasangannya. Setiap kekurangan itu ada hikmahnya & setiap kelebihan itu ada ujiannya. Bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita perolehi.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tagged by Mimi: On Our Hubby

I've been tagged by Mimi. Here’s a chance to see how well you really know your husband/boyfriend/lover.Cut, paste and fill in the answers, then shoot, you know what to do.The real challenge is to send it to your husband/boyfriend/lover to see how right you really are.

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Any action packed movies, preferably Steven Seagal (iye la, sensei Aikido la katakan).

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Anything goes

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
Any dish of ikan keli..he said ikan keli macam ular.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
Ayaq kelapa or teh tarik halia

5. Where did he go to high school?
St. Mary's Secondary School in Sandakan, Sabah

6. What size shoes does he wear?

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Books and magazines on martial arts and fitness

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Tuna Sandwich

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
A type of foul smelling chilli paste sold only in Sandakan, Sabah. He dips his food in that thing.

10. What is his favorite cereal?
Doesn't care much 'bout cereals, tak kenyang katanya.

11. What would he never wear?
Woman clothing and jeans, I forbid him wearing jeans because he does not look good in it. If he takes it off, is even better! hahahhahah

12. What is his favorite sports team?
He cares little about football or any other forms of sports. So no favourite team.

13. Who did he vote for?
PBS (Parti Bersatu Sabah)

14. Who is his best friend?
He said the name is Ida Hariati Hashim..chewah. Actually, there is this guy who accompanies him for bihun soup soto sessions, his name is Wan Zamakshari (Wan, I tau u baca blog i ni..senyum sikit!)

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Spending his money

16. What is his heritage?
His paternal grandpa is a Bajau -Kadazan, grandma is Hokkien. So his Daddy is Sino-Kadazan. His maternal grandparents are Kadazan Dusun (family name, Daungkil). My MIL is a convertor. So my hubby has aunties, uncles and cousins who are Catholics.

17. What is his favourite colour?

18. What is his habit?
You don't want to know. He loves his socks so much!

19. What is he proud of?
His children.

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?
Yes, I will make him read this tonite.

I want to tag:

1) Kak Yani

2) MrsN

3) Raja Farina (The Princess Journals)

4) Farah (The Pink Funk Stilletoes)

5) Kak Naz

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


"To find a husband is an art, to keep him is a job" - Simone de Beauvoir

Phew, it is a tough job keeping a husband. Finding a man worthy to be a husband is an art, yeah, as it involves proper planning, though I believe, many of us here found our men by accident (whatever that means!)

Early this morning, as I asked for my hubby's assistance to zip up my baju kurung moden, he wondered why do I have quite a number of clothes with the same-zipper-at-the back design, and back slits for the sarong. Little did he know that since it is a woman's job to keep her husband, of course I have to find strategies to at least, attract his attention to the things I wear to work. Well, I know, you are thinking, poor man, the wife is so vain.

Now, can you make the connection between this particular design of baju kurung with our husbands? Well, if you are donning this design, of course you need your man's help to zip it up. Well, actually I have no problem zipping up the back myself, but you know, sometimes we need to display helplessness to our man, just to remind him how worthy he is..hahha. But of course, a woman must be smart not to wear this type of baju kurung too often. You know how these boys get fed up easily doing the same thing everyday! Routine is not sexy at all.

Oh yes, I believe this particular design is called baju kurung Cik Abang Sayang. So mulut kena manis bila mau minta tolong zip kan. Oh yes, do not be in a hurry, let him savor the zipping up moment (he might blow you some kisses as a bonus!). Most importantly, one must make sure to suck in the tummy as the zipper travels upwards, of course you do not want your hubby's imagination to get interupted by a sudden halt at the waist. Hahahhaa

The back slits of the sarong is believed to be more intriguing than the common front slits. Well, I shall not elaborate on this matter, as I will leave it to you to decide.

I really hope the male visitors of this blog (silent or 'loud' readers) could share something with us ladies here on what looks nice on a lady. And as for you ladies, perhaps you wouldn't mind sharing some tips on how to draw our significant half's attention. It is a tough job to keep them around, you know. :)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Give me a Hug!

"We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth."

Virginia Satir

Nothing was right last week. The workload was pressing hard on me. The kids were neglected. Hubby was in bad mood. I was down with fever. Nothing was right.
Gosh, you should have seen my face last week, it was twisted in so many unpleasing expressions. My heartbeat was uneven, my head heavy and spinning, my sense of taste was numb due to the flu, my eyes reddened and watery due to the extra long hours on contact lenses. I was like a zombie.

My hubby, oh..that poor thing. I came home later than he did, so he did not like it. In the morning, I left the room in a mess as I was rushing to work, thinking that I'll tidy things up when I came home. But no..he arrived first to see the mess left by his irresponsible wife! Imagine the wrath of a man. He came home with an empty stomach, the love nest was in a mess and the wife was still at work. I came home looking like a rag doll, energy all flushed out at work. Dinner? Well, rice with steamed brocolli and two pieces of fried fish plus some leftover pizza. Luckily the maid fried the fish for my kids' lunch. Hubby did not utter a single word during dinner, I tried to start a conversation, but he was not interested. I was hurt, really hurt.

The kids, another sad case. They had been watching TV and surfing the Net. Exam was supposed to be next week, but mummy didn't do anything to help. Hubby revised lessons with them, mummy was on PC trying to get things straight for the big event at work.

The fever and flu really slowed me down. I could not think straight, found it hard to focus and comprehend instructions and was in some sort of an emotional roller coaster. Luckily, there are friends who assisted to ease the workload. I am indebted to them. The climax of all these mambo jumbos was when I misplaced my car keys on the day before the big event. Funny, I was half dead when I took the cab home. Still, I never forget to praise the cabbie for his service. Seriously, at that moment I felt somehow better.

I have been reading to destress, even though the flu from last week still persists. Despite the new health complication due to my own negligance, I guess I am feeling better now.

Suddenly, some sort of revelation struck me. I think I know why last week was a bad week for us. I know I initiated it.
You see, as mothers, we are the core of our family system. I believe each member orbits around us like planets circling the Sun in the solar system. I was down in the slums, so I figure it affected others too. Bad aura was looming at home.

There was no nice things to talk about only work..work..work..as the subject matter.

The kids were screaming at each other over trivial matters..

Hubby was frowning all the way..

These are symptoms of attention deficiency from the core of the system, that is ME!

To solve this problem? Lip service of mushy words won't work. Long lectures on how to appreciate-wife-who-just-came-back-home-feeling-wasted won't work either.

So I just hugged each one of my subject. I gave them long firm hug, I opened my heart to them, I just flushed out all of the negative ions or whatever encroaching the family.

Hubby came home with a stiffened jaw and a frown across his forehead. He tried to break a smile. I know he was confused as a smile from him might initiate me to talk about work and work, how bad my day was and all. My bad actually, for letting him to hear all these stuff, it was my choice to have a career, thus I have to bear with the pains. Anyway, there he was looking like a lost puppy..so I went to him and gave him a big hug. I could feel his shoulders relaxed. Our heart beats began to synchronize. He murmured something lovingly in my ears, I did not know what it was, but I knew it was something nice.

My health is improving, the kids are more agreeable and hubby? He is now being his usual self, like a well-fed baby, well behaved, contented..hahahaha.

* Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system, cures depressions, reduces stress and induces sleep. Hugging is a miracle drug. Think of the people in your life, from the most agreeable family members or friends to the most autocratic bosses. Are there any words you'd like to say? Are there any hugs you want to share? Are you waiting and hoping someone else will ask first? Please don't wait! Initiate!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I Have a Dream

'To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do'.
Kahlil Gibran

I am a dreamer. I dream of great things to be fulfilled in my short life. I shall not shirk from my duty in fulfilling my dreams even though so many times I have been ridiculed by people around me. What do they know about the esctasy of visualizing greatness in your life? If they have a problem of stepping out of their comfortable life, well, I don't.

I know that my time is running out, thus, I have listed down these goals that I have to achieve in my life time:


1. Nile River
2. Tasik Kenyir (done - will do it again in March)
3. Kinabatangan River
4. Mississippi River


1. Mount Kinabalu
2. Fuji- san
3. Banjaran Titiwangsa
4. Gunung Ledang
5. Mount Vesuvius
6. Tartar Mountain Range in Poland - (yeah, took a cable car to the peak)


1. Jewish Concentration Camp in Auschwitz (visited in 1997)
2. Salsburg - the set for "The Sound of Music" (visited in 1998)
3. Vienna (visited in 1998)
4. Kyoto - Kinkakuji Temple (visited in 2008)
5. Tokyo Disneyland (had fun there like a little kid in 2008)
6. Egypt
7. Iran (Insyallah this August)
8. India (The Taj Mahal)
9. China (The Great Wall of China, The Forbidden City)
10. New Zealand
11. Baltic Sea
12. St. Petersburg
13. Greenwich (the Meridian Line)- yup, been there.
14. The British Museum (checked)
15. The Lourve Museum in Paris
16. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York
17. The Vatican City
18. The Colloseum
19. The Leaning Tower of Pisa
20. Sydney Opera House
21. The White House
22. Rodeo's Drive, Beverly Hills
23. Scandanavian countries
24. Morrocco

On the cruise:

1. Danube River
2. Nile River
3. River Thames (accomplished in 2000 - from Greenwich)

Swim in:

1. The Dead Sea
2. Tasik Kenyir (accomplished in January 2009)
(don't really like swimming, actually..)


1. Hajj in Mekah
2. Stitch 6 quilt comforters (but first I got to learn how to stitch properly)
3. Fly in a blimp
4. Ride an elephant and a camel (mission accomplished)
5. White water rafting (at least twice in my life)
6. Sing to a live band (yup, done that so many times already)
7. Immerse myself in an onsen/ ufuro in Japan-(yup done that, and will definitely do it again, now I am aiming for a more crowded one, just to see how daring I am..hahhaha)
8. Dance on an empty dance floor for almost an hour (hahhaha..done)
9. Hold my breath for 1 minute underwater
10. Catch a fish using a fishing rod (yup, done that three times already)
11. Appear on TV (done)
12. Appear on air (done)
13. Appear on the Internet (done-check put http://www.eduwebtv.com/ - on kecemerlangan PMR)
14. Get married and have kids (yup, done that too)
15. Read the Qur'an from cover to cover (done)
16. Be familliar with the works of Shakespeare, Plato, Dickens, Rousseau, Twain, Hemmingway, A Samad Said, Tolstoy, Conrad, Austen, Leroux, Gibbon, Steinbeck.(all done already)
17. Learn Arabic (accomplished)
18. Learn Japanese
19. Learn Calligraphy
20. Give birth without the epidural (yes, three times)
21. Give birth to twins
22. Afro-braided my hair (done that in 1998)
23. Take up photography
24. Take up Aikido (practising it now)
25. Write books (best sellers)
26. Write movie scripts
27. Produce box office movies
28. Sing for a movie soundtrack
29. Learn piano seriously
30. Compose songs
31. Paint on canvas (in the process)
32. Exhibit my paintings in an art exhibition
33. Bank in loads of cash before 35
34. Edit speeches for the PM (unofficially I have done this)
35. Edit entries for journals and books (done this before)
36. Publish articles in the National Geographic, Readers' Digest
37. Write in a magazine (accomplished- will definitely do it again)
38. Start a blog (hello, I am here already)
39. Homeschool one of my kids (in the process)
40. Open up a school for the poor (in Sabah)
41. Start a business in Eco-Tourism in Sabah (on the way)
42. Buy myself a 1960's Volkswagon Beetle
43. Start a rubber plantation (now pushing hubby to do so..)
44. Teach in a school and inspire the kids (I guess, that's what I have been doing now)
45. Weigh 60 kg stripped (OMG, that's tough)
50. Get acquainted to yoga and pillates (yup, already)
51. Become familliar with the compositions of Bach, Beethoven, Debussy, Mozart, Tschaikovsky..( yes, already)
52. Learn salsa
53. Take up belly dancing class
54. Learn water and snow skiing
55. Drink matcha in an authentic Japanese tea house (yes, accomplished in Gifu, 2008)
56. Address to a non-English speaking crowd and try to get my points across (acoomplished with much effort)
57. Wear a yukata or a kinomo (accomplished)
58. Dress up and make up like a geisha of Gion
59. Learn kendo

Alright, so far, these are the things that I want to accomplish. These are not crazy things but they are my dreams.