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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Give me a Hug!

"We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth."

Virginia Satir

Nothing was right last week. The workload was pressing hard on me. The kids were neglected. Hubby was in bad mood. I was down with fever. Nothing was right.
Gosh, you should have seen my face last week, it was twisted in so many unpleasing expressions. My heartbeat was uneven, my head heavy and spinning, my sense of taste was numb due to the flu, my eyes reddened and watery due to the extra long hours on contact lenses. I was like a zombie.

My hubby, oh..that poor thing. I came home later than he did, so he did not like it. In the morning, I left the room in a mess as I was rushing to work, thinking that I'll tidy things up when I came home. But no..he arrived first to see the mess left by his irresponsible wife! Imagine the wrath of a man. He came home with an empty stomach, the love nest was in a mess and the wife was still at work. I came home looking like a rag doll, energy all flushed out at work. Dinner? Well, rice with steamed brocolli and two pieces of fried fish plus some leftover pizza. Luckily the maid fried the fish for my kids' lunch. Hubby did not utter a single word during dinner, I tried to start a conversation, but he was not interested. I was hurt, really hurt.

The kids, another sad case. They had been watching TV and surfing the Net. Exam was supposed to be next week, but mummy didn't do anything to help. Hubby revised lessons with them, mummy was on PC trying to get things straight for the big event at work.

The fever and flu really slowed me down. I could not think straight, found it hard to focus and comprehend instructions and was in some sort of an emotional roller coaster. Luckily, there are friends who assisted to ease the workload. I am indebted to them. The climax of all these mambo jumbos was when I misplaced my car keys on the day before the big event. Funny, I was half dead when I took the cab home. Still, I never forget to praise the cabbie for his service. Seriously, at that moment I felt somehow better.

I have been reading to destress, even though the flu from last week still persists. Despite the new health complication due to my own negligance, I guess I am feeling better now.

Suddenly, some sort of revelation struck me. I think I know why last week was a bad week for us. I know I initiated it.
You see, as mothers, we are the core of our family system. I believe each member orbits around us like planets circling the Sun in the solar system. I was down in the slums, so I figure it affected others too. Bad aura was looming at home.

There was no nice things to talk about only work..work..work..as the subject matter.

The kids were screaming at each other over trivial matters..

Hubby was frowning all the way..

These are symptoms of attention deficiency from the core of the system, that is ME!

To solve this problem? Lip service of mushy words won't work. Long lectures on how to appreciate-wife-who-just-came-back-home-feeling-wasted won't work either.

So I just hugged each one of my subject. I gave them long firm hug, I opened my heart to them, I just flushed out all of the negative ions or whatever encroaching the family.

Hubby came home with a stiffened jaw and a frown across his forehead. He tried to break a smile. I know he was confused as a smile from him might initiate me to talk about work and work, how bad my day was and all. My bad actually, for letting him to hear all these stuff, it was my choice to have a career, thus I have to bear with the pains. Anyway, there he was looking like a lost puppy..so I went to him and gave him a big hug. I could feel his shoulders relaxed. Our heart beats began to synchronize. He murmured something lovingly in my ears, I did not know what it was, but I knew it was something nice.

My health is improving, the kids are more agreeable and hubby? He is now being his usual self, like a well-fed baby, well behaved, contented..hahahaha.

* Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system, cures depressions, reduces stress and induces sleep. Hugging is a miracle drug. Think of the people in your life, from the most agreeable family members or friends to the most autocratic bosses. Are there any words you'd like to say? Are there any hugs you want to share? Are you waiting and hoping someone else will ask first? Please don't wait! Initiate!


Faa said...

puan ida, funny la that picture! haha. :D
anyways, be strong. and im sure ur husband would understand ur condition. cehwahh. hihi (:
btw, exam's over. yeayyy :p

ray said...

Komen Pak Malim, kucing ray yg alim.

Semoga cepat semboh, kata Pak Malim sambil meminum teh Boh.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Faa,

Wah..tu minor exam yang baru abis tu, awatnya u happy sgt? Tq for your kind words..I am OK, really..cuma tak sihat sikit je..:)

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Hai Pak Malim,

Timasih, saya dah OK sikit, kata Ida sambil naik rakit.

Lyana Mauseth said...


hope u will get well soon...jgn stress sgt okey :D

suzalie is a good husband, i am sure he understands..kita bukannya kaki tgn byk mcm sotong tu kan..semua nak kena buat so jgn amik hatilah...dia sure paham keadaan u :)

Naz said...


sherry said...

Salam Ida.

Give me a Hug and LOVE...

Have a nice day.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Lyana,

Suzalie is the ost supprtive hubby in the world, but if tak bagi dia makan or manja2 sikit, dia kan merajuk..hahhaha..i spoilt him la..

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Kak Naz,


Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Sherry,

Here is the big hug from me..but jgn jangkit my flu sudah!

Queen Mother said...


In the same boat, as I'm having flu as well :(

I need a hug...uhuk uhuk uhuk

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Ala kecian farah..I boleh hug u, tapi Mr. D.H punya hug lagi mujarab la...hahha

Please take care, darling..

Anonymous said...

alala teacher . im sure he understands ! haha . be strong bebeh . HAHAHAHA [ mcm ckp dgn kawan plak kan ] hahahha

Kak Teh said...

I had a friend who firmly believes that hugging is good for the health. I said had because he died recently. But what raised our eyebrows was that, surely hugging need not be a planned thing, kan?

take care..and HUGS from me.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Kak Teh,

How are you, madam..I hope that warm chicken soup has done good to you..

I am not sure about planning to hug someone as for me it happens in an instant. Well, don't get me wrong, I don't go around hugging people, it is just when I feel there's some kind of magnetic urge to get close (among close friends and loved ones), I'll do it.

Well, hugging is an underutilized resource with magical powers. When we open our hearts and arms, we encourage others to do the same.

About your friend who believed in hugging, I am sure he had lived a contented life, for he had willingly returned himself to be with his Lord. :)

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Hu syareena,

Yeah we are friends as I want u to open up to me if u need my help, ok. U take care.

lenzaidi said...


Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Hi Len,

On that fateful morning, I was feeling down and confused, it was a day before the BIG event. Perhaps the PTA fellas there were sxchoked to see these two teachers locked in an embrace to tight. Ye ke it was tight? hahha..Buat sepenuh hati la..tq for opening your heart and arms for a friend who is drifting away..

Fairy said...

nice one kada...
loves to read your blog!
so inspiring... ;)

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Deat Fairy,

Hi sista, tq for dropping by.. inspiring? la timasih lah..i hope i have done some justice to your time visiting my blog..

lenzaidi said...

Dont drift afar Ida.
Row row row your boat gently down the stream,merrily merrily life is but a dream.;-))

Ida Hariati Hashim said...


U ni mesti happy sebab dah abih buat niche report..hahha