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Monday, February 23, 2009

Unsung Heroes

That's it! I cannot go on anymore. I am mentally worn out. I have been sick, the flu just won't leave me in peace, my throat sore, my lungs are soaked with phlegm and head spinning (can't even prostrate well during solat).

How am I to juggle between work and family when the former is such a burden to shoulder? I do not know what is wrong with the school. We, the teachers are bogged down by never ending work, we feel that we have distanced ourselves from our students. Goodness, how I pity my dear colleagues who, everyday confide in me. They claim that I am lucky to be counting my days leaving the school. As for them, they have no choice but to stay.

Actually, I did not have much choices. I am not rich. One thing about me is that I am just too proud to stay on at work. I believe I am just cheating myself and the students as I am not able to render my all to my core business, that is teaching. I see there is no point of me doing something that I have no passion for. I cannot go on feeling guilty all the time. Teaching is fun, but when one becomes the jack of all trades, doing work not related to teaching at all, I believe this is all nonsense.

It is not fair for me to bring home my unfinished work as I believe that it is my right to enjoy my rest at home. At this moment, as I am writing this, Sarah is here doing her homework. Believe it or not, I am attending to two computers now, one for typing and the other one is for research, and of course writing for this blog.

I have been told by friends that I have guts for deciding to quit. I really pity them, they have no other options but to enslave themselves to the autocratic rule of our superior. If only the boss could understand how we have tried our best to achieve her goals. If only she could understand us, how much we have slogged like hell just to serve the school. I believe, if she could just listen to our predicaments, we will be fine.

I am trully sadden to hear about the children of my friends who seem to be neglected at home. The very long and unscheduled meetings we have usually leave the kids hungry for food and attention at home.

I have, honestly speaking, shouted and spanked my kids for trivial and childish things they did. I simply cannot help it. I am inside out so exhausted and disappointed. I am unable to contain it all. Mummy is so sorry darlings.

I shall write no more tonight as it is very disappointing. I am looking forward to leaving that 'pressure cooker' school. I am sorry, dear friends I have to go. I am selfish and weak. I cannot make myself endure such torture to my pride and soul. Thanks so much for the friendship. I will cherish it till the day I die.

23 comments:

ray said...

Komen Pak Malim kucing ray yg alim.

Ida mengajar di SMK Aminuddin Baki, ke? kata Pak Malim sambil makan nangka. That's a good school, kata Pak Malim sambil main pool. Eh, tapi saya tak pi sekolah, kata Pak Malim sambil duduk berkelah.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Memang SAB sekolah tersohor, kata Ida sebelum ke Johor. Tapi cikgunya semua under stress, keluh Ida sambil memakai dress. Gamaknya, Pak Malim tak pi sekolah sebab homeschool kot, teka Ida sambil menggosok kot.

hehehhe..saya allergic kucing, tapi kucing Pak Malim saya tak kisah..

Lyana Mauseth said...

haha i nak tergelak bc pantun u dgn pak malim ni terus terlupa nak komen apa..best la pantun kacukan melayu omputih nih :D

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Ida, you taking early retirement? Wow, this I certainly admire.
Regret to read of your flu. Try drinking Chinese Green tea. Or.....

Oh ya, I just remember...if you passing a Chinese kedai Obat, pop in ask for this Chinese Herbal tea drink.
It is called, 'Hor Yan Hor" (sounds like Tarzan calling for his mate, ha ha).

Its is a Herbal tea drink.

It is made in Ipoh, and sold here too. Very cheap.
And Ida, believe you me...it will help ease the body traffic jam as you mentioned.
Drink it hot, drink 2 cups after an interval 3 or 4 hours.

Good for headaches, fevers, flu, coughs and colds.
But not too sure about lovesick or romantic blues, ha ha. Just joke joke, ha ha. But good for flu.
And you'll feel a glow in your body after drinking that one cup. Do try it, Ida....

I have recommended to several of my lady readers who had aches and pains and the flu.

You take care...and looking forward to your fast recovery Ida.
You stay easy, keep a song in your heart.

May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Best regards, Lee.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Lyana,

Awat u tergelak baca i berseloka dgn Pak Malim? tanya Ida sambil memjahit kelim. Seloka ni baguih jugak campoq dgn bahasa omputih, kata Ida sambil mengupeh bawang putih.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Lee,

U know how to make my day..Been drinking Green Japanese Tea, but my immunity still down la..

I will try the Herbal Tea partly because u said it can make me glow..hahhahaha..(sakit pun still so vain!)

Have a nice day, dear!

Desert Rose said...

Ida Dear,

Sapa kata jadi Cikgu senang? Tembak kepala lutut dia. I know since both of my parents were dedicated teachers.

The kids are lucky to have somebody like u teaching them. But u r right. Teaching is a noble profession, i understand a beautiful soul like yours, u r doing d best for anak orang but u feel that u own kids are neglected. Takpa Ida,u still can continue with tuition ke apa. If u dik dekat ngan I, I pun nak hantar my kids tuition kat u. Or u can start writing seriuosly??

All d best, take care and get well soon. Lps ni ajak sensei u pi singgah kedai Singseh Cina plak k.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Kak eza,

sapa yg kata keje cikgu senag, i tembak n cabut kepala lutut dia..hahha

ni i MC today, but noon karang p meeting dgn PIBG, ada AGM this Saturday, so I sebagai S/U kehormat nak p settle keje..

Tq for the kata semangat..i bole ajaq anak u..charge ikut sedara.

Kitchen Guardian said...

Ida,

Ha SMK Aminuddin Baki!! Dekat tu dgn rumah I, my nephew sorang kat situ!

I'm also not rich, so, I hv to work!...But yalah..lately my kerja is so berlambak, now dah sampai tahap stress caused by some people, but i kept telling myself that these pple are trivial minute therfore shouldnt affect me! But your kerja, banyak pahala! But I suppose it's the time of the year, org semua stress kerja, take care!

mamasita said...

Hai Ida,
do what you must. Its your life and you have to decide whats best for you and your family!
If your love for your hubby and kids have made you take this important decision, then it must be have been the best decision you've ever taken!
Its a beautiful sacrifice and worthwhile..duit boleh cari.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Salam,

kak yani..la ur nephew kat situ ke? mak oii..keciknya dunia. Cuba tanya ur nephew, kenal tak i? I teach english, if dia kenal i, i wonder apa lagi comment dia..hahah

I p dunkin's donut sebab tgk ur blog tadi..:)

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear datin,

Betul tu duit bole carik..rezeki Tuhan di mana2, cuma kita je kena cekal n pandai carik..

Yes, untuk family..I sanggup berkorban, I hidup sekali je, if I tak korban utk org i sayang, akhirat nanti entah jumpa ke tidak..sedey tau!

Nisa said...

hahaha..pandai gak u berpantun ye ida...
i x taulah ida..i pun rasa this year rasa tension sgt...apa yg u rasa itu yg i rasa..rasa guilty kt anak tu mmg x terkatalah...anak i skang buat keje dia, i buat keje i...keje i plak x habis2..lepas satu, sepuluh yg datang..that's whylah i rasa i nk blah je dr SAB..sayang mmg sayang tp kena dulukn my family...pegi jaga swimming satu hal...habis kul 5..pastu kena balik sekolah plak..penat..penat...naklah rasa hidup tenang,ada masa for family..so this year mmg i nekad minta pindah..wish me luck ya...

u flu lgke? cuba u buat air ni plak...halia hiris2 then tambah hot water,pastu letak hirisan lemon sikit, pastu tambah madu..my aust neighbour bg ni tau..sampai skang i amalkn..cubalah..it works for me & hubby..hehe...u take care..

Kwong said...

I salute U & U are truly one of them... Hope ur flu gets well soon.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Nisa,

Hi darling..i am so sorry to hear about your decision to leave school, now SAB dah kehilangan guru pure science, still i respect ur decision, family must come first, that's our reason for being women, if kita kejarkan kerjaya baik stay single.

For me, having the space and time to do things that you have passion for is crucial. Bila buat sesuatu hati kena betul or else, baik tak payah..

Kenapa lah our superior tak faham perasan kita. We don't ask for much, except that she needs to be more diplomatic with us, bukan kita mau insentives or other material gains..

Thank for the petua..akan i cuba :)

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Mr. Kwong..tq dear for dropping by..I am recuperating, took something very strong just now, went to sleep, hopefully i'll be fine tomorrow..

Kitchen Guardian said...

ida,

just tell me when and where you are, i pi hantarq you nak cream puff ka, cupcakes ka, beryani udang ka...etc, but kasi notice sikit, kena cari bahan nak buat ok!

Mimi said...

Ida..I baru tahu u mengajar kt ur old school..mcm sirih pulang ke gagang la ni kiranya..

Bestnyer tak lama lagi u bole dok rumah jaga anak2..i wish i could do the same..

get well soon dear

re: i rasa kereta yg dia pegang tu BMW SUV kot..

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Alamak..kak yani, u ni baguih la..i teringin cream puffs la...hahha

Tq

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

mimi,

i tgh tension keje ni..ya allah..susahnya hati i. Dah tak tau apa nak cakap ni hah..

lenzaidi said...

Ida,
Needless to say more? I saluate you for writing that posting, Woman. Infact ive been waiting for someone to write the same.

But as you are leaving, and as im staying i never stop commenting for a good self cause.I never speak up for others, i have been speaking up my mind.I like to be seen as what and who i am.I dont think im in the right book of that lady.

Let this blog be a venue for us to speak up.By this time, and looking at the tone of her opening address this afternoon brief ,shes actually seeking our audience for the current committe to stay on. Because i know many outside there are rearing to coem in and speak up.WE need a new set of blood to shake the school.Hers and her way arent the only way to manage the school.

Haa i need a blog lah to write my own space too.

Its hurting,tiring yet i love teaching the young dangerous minds ND i know im living up to it.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Len,

I hate to be impolite for using very harsh words talking baout someone..tapi i benci orang arrogant tau..saya sudah tak sabar mau blah..

lenzaidi said...

and the hug this afternoon..i think it is an immature parting gesture.Sedih tau.