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Friday, February 27, 2009

Greatest Mummy in the World?

Lyana thinks that I am a great mum. I don't blame her for misjudging me as she's a dear friend of mine. Tell me, how can I be a great mum when..

1) I hardly prepare breakfast for my family nowadays. My kids start their days eating the food prepared by my maid. I am more concern of being on time to work, but I am never on time, as the bloomin' work starts so early and that my route to the school is always congested.

2) I come home late. I am a teacher, yes, but I am unable to teach my own kids as I am usually half dead when I arrive home.

3) I get angry pretty easily when my kids are not able to complete their homework. Lately, I would give monosyllabalic (is there such a word?) response to my kids' queries.

4) I scream at them all the time as I am so tired and stressful at work.

5) I hardly cook for them, don't eat with them, have no time to even feed Didi (can't remember the last time I fed her).

6) I rarely bathe my kids or change their diapers as everything is done by the maid.

7) Benjamin is having some sort of blisters on his groin, but the bloomin' work that I have to go to tomorrow gives me no space to even take him to the doctors, hubby is busy.

8) The older kids are dead bored staying at home on Saturdays. The autocratic ruler of my school orders all teachers to work on Saturdays. So I am unable to take the kids out. Hubby is busy with Aikido for the whole day.

9) I hardly read bedtime stories to them, as when I am at home, I would still be struggling to finish my never ending work.

10) I work overtime, do extra work for the benefit of other peoples' kids when all of my kids are neglected at home.

11) Sarah tells me that she thinks of me whenever she is in school, where as whenever I am at work, I only think about my work, how to reduce the @#$% pile of work.

12) Sarah and Adam are not preforming in school. Adam, still can't read well. Handwriting is atrocious. Sarah has low self-esteem as she knows that she is the last class.

Now, tell me dear friends? Do I deserve to be the greatest? I can't even control my life as I am chained to this rotten thing that is turning me into a bad and lousy mum.

God knows how I yearn to be with my kids all the time. Only God knows how guilty I feel for not having the strenght to even fight for my kids' rights for some quality time with me. These tears are drying out. God, this is a torture.

So Lyana, I don't deserve this. Tq anyway.


Uncle Lee said...

Hello Ida Hariati, sabah la, I'm sure your kids understand your situation.
I'm sure things will turn out better for you one of these days, even sliding down a rainbow can get blisters.
And you will make it up to them.

I went thru almost similar situation, only I became a stranger to my kids, they not seeing me days, weeks sometimes.

I missed their birthdays, when in poor health, never took them to school, or witnessed any of their games etc.
They hardly come to me for anything, it was their mother who was mother and father to them.
And the worst part was they were quiet when I was home...a stranger in 'their' house.
And for 15 years!!

Ida, to your children, their mom is a never ending song in their heart of comfort, happiness and being.
They may sometimes forget the words, but they always remember the tune.

Stay easy Ida, its tough but hang on, the bulan and bintangs not in right alignment yet...soon. Lee.

Queen Mother said...


You are already the Greatest Mummy in the World by deciding to become a SAHM (stay at home mom).

I know for sure becoz you told me the reason for doing so.

Enjoice the award ok!

lenzaidi said...

I think every mother deserved to be called 'greatest mummy' in the world in their own special term or case.
If you ask my children proudly they would say that im their 'greatest mummy' if not in the world, in their heart.
So Ida, hold true to yourself, you are the greatest mummy of your children, Sarah,Adam,Ben and lil Didi.

Desert Rose said...

Ida Dear,

There are no ideal critria of a great mom, every mom is great in her children's eyes and u r too darling.

U brought thru to this world, nurture them and even love them even before they were born, wasnt that GREAT???

They'll b fine. Dont worry. That's d fact of life every working mom got to face. Me included. We would never feel that what we provide is enough.

As long as they knw u love them unconditionally and they love u no matter what is just GREAT.

U are a great mother, from the day they were born till the day u die.


Naz said...

I think you deserve it. Tau kenapa? Your realisation that such and such is the status quo in your family and you ARE doing something about it. Itu yang mahal, dear!
Tak apa...just a few more days kan? The kids will love you for what you have decided to do now.

Kak Teh said...

Ida, sounds like my kind of script. So, dont feel bad. This week saja, I hardly saw my children. Ta tau apa depa makan, bila depa tidork. I pun tak deserve the award, taou=i terima kasih kpd naz.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Lee,

Indeed it is a great lost if we have missed the important events in our kids' life.

I will bersabar, yes..but one needs to let this thing within outta the system. I feel kinda relieved after crying. Luckily hubby is supportive, in his own perculiar ways. But I am greatful.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Farah,

U have such a strong will power. U have endured pain in ur knee and all.

I appreciate the award (mcm Oscar pulak), but it is a challenge to me actually to keep up to the expectation. I just mau hidup yang tenang..oklah tenang and senang, itu je..

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Len,

U could see the smile on my face just now after the dissolution of the exco..phew..now boleh concentrate dgn core business. Anyway, it was a good experience, though. I was lucky that the exco are all nice people, and most importantly, they could tolerate my 'loudness'..hahha.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Kak Eza,

I doa'kan u pun dapat kekuatan dariNya. Tu la dilemma ibu yang berkareer ni..

I want the best for my kids, I tak mau my daughters, especially, walk the path I've taken masa i muda remaja dulu..onak durinya punya la dasyat..tapi rasanya itu sebabnya i am street wise and don't take any &%@$ from anybody..

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

tq so much, kak Naz. Yes i realize the problem and that i want to fix it..i need support from all quarters of my life, including from my fellow bloggers..

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Kak Teh,

i know mine is not an isolated case. I believe all mommies yearns to be with their kids..

I wish you all the best. I tau semangat u lagi kuat daripada i..u are an inspiration.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Kak Teh,

i know mine is not an isolated case. I believe all mommies yearns to be with their kids..

I wish you all the best. I tau semangat u lagi kuat daripada i..u are an inspiration.

ray said...

Komen Pak Malim kucing ray yg alim.

Saya fikir Ida adalah seorang ibu yg baik kerana sentiasa memikirkan tentang anak-anak, kata Pak Malim sambil menunggu nasi yg siap ditanak. Jadi, ambil lah, award, kata Pak Malim sambil masuk ward.

Pak Tuo said...

Well mum,

Couldn't resist but to follow thru'Kak Teh.
Yes Mak Chik Nyonya namanya,wife of Pak Chik Yahya LongChik.
Chipy lady and easy to get along with.Yes she was at MPIK Cheras.

Kay.Have fun.HGood write too.

Uncle Lee said...

Hello Ida Hariati, if got nothing better to do, come over for goreng pisang and ice coffee.
Got something cheeky.
And hold that smile, Lee.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

pak malim kucing ray yang alim,

saya mau test dulu kebolehan dan kesabaran saya jadi ibu yang baik, kata Ida memakai batik.

Saya tetap hargai apa-apa award yang diberi, kata Ida sambil memanjang pokok ceri.

Kucing yang panjat bumbung tu kucing betina rupanya, tetapi mengapa buas macam kucing jantan, panjat tinggi-tinggi?, tanya Ida sebelum mengosok gigi.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

hi pak tuo,

Yes Pn. Nyonya. Very nice and cheerful lady. I wonder where is she now?

Tq for visiting.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Lee,

I will certainly lepak at your pondok, but tomorrow la as I need to retire to bed now..

Happy weekends Lee.

Kwong said...

Reading ur last blog makes me feel guilty. I can sure understand ur precardiment as a tutor, mother and a homemaker. Teachers now adays have so much on their hands & head. Life is full of challenge. Sincerely hope that U'll give them all ur time after this.
I have been in even more difficult situations before. My two kids were separated, one in Klang & the other in Seremban. I only have the chance to see them once in a month. Thanks god,today atleast I am greatful that they have grown up to be a better person. Hopefully all ur kids will also grow up to be a persons too.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Mr. Kwong,

Tq for your kind words. I am trying my best to clean up the mess, to straighten things up..

I am optomistic that all will be ok..

I wish u all the best too..


MrsNordin said...

Hey, take it easy. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are great in your own way, I'm sure of that...

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Hi Mrs Nordin,

Yeah, I am holding on now..just a month to go before all of this comes to an end..

mamafiza said...

Dear Miss Ida,

OMG, I am speechless -_-

Be strong dear! The truth, I really can felt this pain because I'd been there.

Please do let me know if you need any help. May God always bless your day. Amin~

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Hi Fiza-san,

Tq so much for understanding how guilty I feel about priotizing work over kids.

I am attending to ur seminar to lern how to deal with my very active and intelligent kids.

May God Bless Us Allah.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ida,

This is Nurislam/Ivan from IIUM.ITs been ages!!!! I chanced upon your blog, its really well written and frank.
We are still based in Malaysia in Kuchign right now. LEts keep in touch, my email is evetovics@hotmail.com.
best regards

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

OMG Nur Islam..how are you? yes, it has been ages..good to find you here. Please send my love to Hilda, ok

Jeffrey Matisa said...

Dear Ida

The word is monosyllabic.

What you wrote indicates male speech form, as in when he speaks through his bals (sic).

With reference to that lamentous list, a great mum remains great for having noticed.