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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Some advice to my 22-year-old self..

Dear Friends,

I believe whatever befalls onto you today is the result of the path that you have taken in your past. I admit, sometimes we make bad decisions, but I believe we should give credits to ourselves for having the guts to actually make that decision. Yes, I have stumbbled upon so many obstacles to be who I am today. I am neither a rocket scientist nor the late Lady Di, but I believe I do have worth in this world.

Here, I am writing to myself who was just 22 years old. This was the time when I learnt about myself. It was tough being on your own..searching for an identity at the wrong places. I hope none of my kids would go through this, especially my daughters. Nevertheless, I have no regrets as my mistakes have taught me that life is beautiful.

So friends, this will be my advice to a 22 year old Ida Hariati Hashim..I am reminiscing my life during this turbulent year..

Ida, you are thinking of dumping the guy, but you are so afraid of being alone. I know you can't stay home that long as mama was always hostile towards you. Yes, you want to share your inner thoughts with her, but I know you just would not tolerate the misunderstandings that might arise. Dear, she is your mother, you are her only daughter, of course she has her worries. I know as I am a mother too.

About the new circle of friends that you have now..be careful, dear, for they are fair wheather friends. You will encounter more of this sorts of friends later in your life. So please, don't get yourself too close to these fellas.

At this point of time, you are longing to be good looking..hehhehe. Even though you do not have much to wear for your late night outings, and that you are longing to don that off shoulder black sexy dress that you saw a girl was wearing, it is not worth it. I know you want to impress others, but what is the point, you have such brilliant smile and personality so no need to expose your physique unnecessarily!

You are playing with fire now..what is the point of being on a rebound? The hell with him. If it is over, then the guy does not deserve you. I wonder what do you see in him? Is it because he is a good orator? Ida, I know you..you still stick around because you have this guilty conscience towards the other one before, right? Let it go, dear. I am sure he has forgiven you.

In few weeks' time this current one is going to leave you for another chick..but know what, you will not shed a tear..You will feel as if a big concrete has been lifted off your shoulder..Don't know why, you will cry for a different reason..perhaps you are just lonely. I know you want to be home with your mama and ayah.

Then, after the break up, some irrelevant guys will come into your life..even the one you left will come knocking on your door, but of course, being a principled person, you won't 'jilat benda yang dah ludah'. Oh yes, don't be too egoistic, you are not THAT good looking. Jangan perasan!

Don't get yourself entangled with that guy driving the yellow sports car. He leads an expensive lifestyle, yes, but don't waste your time.

People are busy talking about you right now, you wild thing! Take good care of your health. When you are in the 30's, you will feel that your lungs have weakened and so on..Oh yes, I know you just don't give a damn about what others gonna say about you, good..but sometimes, you need to listen and pay attention.

Later, Idris, your so called Cameroonian brotha will introduce you to a guy in IIUM Waqf. This is the guy, who you think is so uncool, 'skema' and 'macam baguih', thus not your taste! Now believe me or not you are going to be head over heel for him, but knowing you, you will not suggest anything to him. You consider yourself a seasoned playa in love now, so you just ignore the feelings.

Don't know why, Idris will leave you chit chatting with this guy during the first encounter. Haha, you being so observant, will see that he looks good in that white baju Melayu..ah at last a guy in baju Melayu is talking to you...Suddenly, he asks to leave, you will tail him behind, on his way to the mosque for Maghrib prayer. At this point, your heart yearns for God to send you someone..maybe like him. At that instance too, you will wonder who is the one in his heart. Lucky girl.

You will be 23 in January 11th, by this time so many things will happen..Up to this point, you are still unsure of your or his feelings..But both of you know that the chemistry is right..

Well, I should stop right here, for I know you have other things to do..Standfast to your daily solat, Ida..and you really need to quit some of your bad habits, as you might scare the guy away...He is vulnerable as he has never seen life like you have had. So be kind. Don't try to taint him, you bad girl...hahhaha..

Now is the time to go home more often, go and bake some cakes or cookies like you used too. Don't go on a shopping spree because it is not your money. I know, as now I am earning my own cash, so I can feel the pinch! All the best to you..Luv, Kada.


lenzaidi said...

im not that rajin, i dragged me to the class and poor boarders, they relly have to change attitudes by taking EL as a serious undertaking
I hate to remind them of their lackadiscal in learning EL.I happened to replace many classes i missed which was coincided with puasa months that i have to forgo the slots.Enough of slogging at SAB.phews.

Nay, i did try to rack my head to share some of my youngish stuff here with you both ie my heyday or when i was 22....I will just leave those memories bury in times and instead enjoy reading Ida's sob sob and ishk ishk stories.

Now that the pmr students are about to embark the much awaited public examination in a few days time,i can now lay my hair down abit lol.Lemme finish my lesson plans for the coming weeks..sigh.

Cheers bah.

Lyana Mauseth said...

mcm nak nangis pun ada reading your post this time ida...yes we did so many stupid things but i guess that what made us grow up..had it not been for the jerks, we won't go for our husbands now, right? so in a way, we should thank them...

with our experience we know that tall dark handsome and rich guys only exist in love novels...we live in real life and we need more than those physical appearance...:D

life is more than what we see...those excitement and entertainment are not the sun in our lives...lucky we saw it before we are old and grey...but for some people...sadly to say, they never grow up...

lenzaidi said...

Lyana's above posting made me rewind the old episode how i, in my out of naiveity, fell in love with a most available tall dark and handsome jerk as in Mill and Boons and only to fall flat on my face when right infront of my nose hahah i saw him walking hands in hands with a young and sophisticated lady the evening i came back from class.He went out with the then campus warden's daughter.A Pretty and soughtafter chick in the campus.lol.He tried to explain to no avail cos ive decided to call off as soon as i felt hurt.

Ive told myself long before this that i will love and marry a guy who loves me most (and of course he must be good looking,enough brain to tease my intellegence and all)What did i get..a good looking and equally fitness freak as im but a loving father to my 4 children.

No thanks to this guy, he was not my to die for boyfriend, except i was falling for his genuity caring attitude.Its not because of him i gotten married to my hubby.To borrow words from Ida, God sent me this man to be my husband in time of sickness,rich and poor.Period. Thank you Allah.

oit, this has crossed my mind to wonder if we have followers who read the many postings we had in Ida's and Lyana's.If the hubbies of your truly happen to read this waila..Be it just for their light reading.;-)
Cheers bah.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Ladies,

My hubby wouldn't have time to read this, anyway if he reads my blog, be it..I've got nothing to hide. I am very comfortable in my skin right now. He knows of the personal baggage that I carry into this marriage as I laid all my cards on the table. I should say that he is a brave guy to actually take me as his woman. Yeah I have my flaws here and there but deep inside I know I ain't evil.

Suzalie told me that he wouldn't marry me if I was a plain girl-next-door kinda type. Maybe he is the type of bloke who has this peace and calm looking appearence but in the inside as wild as the Matador bull..hahhaha.

About my blog, yeah I appreciate those who have been reading my postings in silence. Someone told me yesterday that she has been visiting, but never left any comments. I am thankful for that.

Rose, we don't chat that much at work, maybe due to the time constrain due to our workload. But I agree with you that we should stick to blogsphere to communicate more of our womanly experience. You see, there are many women out there with problems expresssing what's bothering them inside, when things are kept in, I believe, will age you down physically. Lookt at you, dahlin..I think you are not telling me the truth about your age. You can't be that senior to me..no way..

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Oh yes, unlike the ever so romantic Lyana, I do not like reading romantic novels (even though have read some). I know mana ada knight in shining amour to save me, the damsel in distress? Hahhaha..but I've read really good one, "The Bridges of Madison County"..the movie sucks, that's why I will never watch any movies adapted from novels. Anyway, about this book, I cried and cried sampai my hubby pun heran..bak kata pepatah, I menangis macam kena pukul..hahhahah. So heart touching, you know..Rose I have the book on my shelve at the school..if you want to read it, I'll be gald to lend it to you. As for Lyana, I think you can find it in Norway too..I really wish you are here with us, woman!

lenzaidi said...

Put it Three damsels(but married hahah) in distress, writing, penning, blabbering in the blogsphere.If this is what we can do best, be it,at least we can polish up our writing,sharpening our mind and exchanging notes of life.;-)

The bridges of Madison county.From the titile i would aready know what make you cried reading it.So i guess i need to read it too,to cleanse my tear glands.

Lyana look out for the title in town, if you need to also cleanse your tear glands.;-)

Have a fruitful weekend ladies.

Cheers bah.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Len, besok I have PIBG meeting la..and the other week's saturday we are gonna have the PERASA course..there goes our weekends..

Lyana Mauseth said...

yusuf xde la masa dia nak baca i punya blog...kalau dia baca pun sbb i suruh..bila dia ada masa dia bukak youtube tgk cerita2 ufo, pastu dia tgk google earth tu sampai i naik lemas dan rimas...tp like ida, i xde benda nak hide...b4 i kawin dgn dia, i laid everything on the table...the bad and the good :D...suka amik, x suka, x payah amik hehe...

i think blog ni bagus sbb kita dpt kluarkan kesengsaraan dan keperitan yg berbuku dlm hati ni haha...dan juga kita punya opinion towards something kan...

i tak tau berapa juta love novels yg i baca haha...self motivation dan segala jenis..i ni jenis beli buku yg cover lawa and tajuk best...mcm bdk2 kan...

weekend...i kat cabin now..just put out the fish net..esok i bau ikan lagi le..seronok k..i really enjoy this...but sad sbb i cannot attend malaysian student's open house in town tomorrow :((

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Lyana,

hahahha..funny le when u said "suka amik, tak suka, tak payah amik"..I hold on to that kinda of principle too..itu kumbang bukan satu ekoq juga! Hahhaha....

Syoknya hang kat cabin, I am sure you jarang sakit as you are very close to nature..good for the kids as well...as the for me, the only cabin that I know here is the sauna room at the gym, wooden cabin, kan..so masa kat dalam tu I pun imagine la kat scandanavian country..pathetic!

Enjoy your weekends..oh yes, Len will be very busy because her kid will be sitting for her PMR this Monday..

lenzaidi said...

i (you too) was busy latibtubing anak orang for the pass weeks. hahahah.I simply can not teach my son, i did prepare whats necessary for him.I tengok tengok je latih tubi dia kat sekolah.Tapi tadi pagi i was grilling haha drilling him some BM essays.Told him to infor transfer the essay into GO(Graphic org.) for effective revision. Lega I sikit.(this is what i mean by arresting children problem when needful ;-))You dont have to put 24 survellence on them.Dengar nasihat mama ni.

Lyana, happy fishing/netting.I envy you lah.Close to nature.Keep an eye on the boys..Happy weekend Ladies.
Cheers bah.

lenzaidi said...

Me just passing by.Its a delight to see a new landscape of your blog and also the song which comes along. Ketulusan Hati Ida Hariati dan Suzeli.
You make my day Ida thank you.Wait for Lyana to come back to the fore lol.

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

Dear Len,

I am glad that all is ok with your son. Iyelah, kita sibuk ngan anak org sampai anak sendiri macam terbiar..(maybe u tak biar anak u, but i le).

The songs that I chosen are my personal favourites, I appreciate all kinds of music. I love loud ones too, you'll be surprise!

I am noy well, Len. Was taken to hospital yesterday as I was shivering hard. I am down with fever ,and my body is aching.

Oh yes, about the pain down there, the doc said it was due to some infestion due to the lack of water. Sometimes I am just too busy at school, sampai lupa mau makan and minum.

Lyana Mauseth said...

haha betul la...i malas la nak cover2 story mori ni..so, biar dia tau semua, then sendiri mau ingat lah..kita x pyh nak pening kepala...

good luck ye for your students...sure gabra nak amik exam haha

yup i kat kabin ni..got a lot of mackerel semlm...so mkn le smp muntah..i x lalu sgt ikan ni..hanyir...ni tgh pack nak balik umah..letih dgn packing je....

haha i jarang sakit? now tgh demam selsema...emil got sick first, then dia transfer all the germ and virus to me since he held my hand while sleeping the whole nite..not to mention coughing and sneezing to my face...mmg la berjangkit..

ida, teach me how to make my blog like yours...with songs and all...bes le...refreshing :D

eh ida, u should drink a lot...i pun kkdg x minum..sehari kkdg 2 gelas je minum..pastu sakit le sana sini...