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Thursday, November 20, 2008


I am at work, sneaked out from the buzz of the room, now enjoying my Ferrero Rocher. Man how chocolate can turn me on..hehehheh. Merapu!

Have you seen the movie, Brokeback Mountain? Friends think the movie is yucky as there are scenes of two hunks locked in passionate kiss. Well, I think it is a masterpiece. It is not a typical love movie that ends with a predictable ending.

As usual, I cried as I watched the final scenes...damn, I could feel the LOVE between the guys..I am longing to feel love again...something passionate and crazy..No, I am not sick, just being my true self, not afraid to be honest to what I feel..I know what I want and I know HOW to get it.

After the movie, I decided to commit to another bloody excellent masterpiece, the book entitled "The Bridges of Madison County". I have read the book before, but I know I simply have to read it again..This passion I have inside needs recharging. As I tore the pages, I knew I'd soon come to favourite part of the whole story. No, it is not the passionate love making ritual of Francesca and Robert. I love the part when Francesca firmly decided that she shall not run away with her lover as she was pretty much tied up with the sense of duty towards her family. I like this. You see, I believe that a love story does not necessarily end in the exchange of vows. Marriage is a risky business, what started as a smooth sailing might end up in a wrackage. My point is, why take the risk of doucing the flame of passion when you can treasure it in your heart and mind. I feel sad to witness so many love stories end in divorce. How do you hate someone you used to love so much? How can these emotions from the opposite ends interchange?

You need to read the book to understand my point. I am a passionate being, I cannot help it, I am true to my heart. Last night I dreamt of my hubby being in love with another woman, I woke up glad that it was just a dream. This morning as I reflect upon the dream, I was searching for the exact emotion that I should feel. Should I be angry? For what? Then I figured, if he wants to be in love with another, so be it. I cannot stop him nor he can stop me. At least I know he still can love. But why another? Well, maybe I have been idle or dull that motivate him to change his course. I cannot be so selfish to restrain him from being a man. I just do not want to be the last to know about this, and that he must never forget his responsibilities to the family.

I wish he could give me the similar space that I am willing to give him. But then, coming back to reality, that kind of understanding only happens in Utopia. He is definitely going to get himself "killed" if the dream becomes a reality!

Anyway, here is the clip from the movie. Man, I really love Heath Ledger. Rest I Peace Heath, will always love you!


lenzaidi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lenzaidi said...

When you said you cried reading the Bridges of Madison county, i was like okay lets have a session of tearduct cleansing.After reading a few pages, the story seems too familiar to me.My eyes start to swell to tears at the episode when she receives the parcel from Robert (who by then was dead ) and the content of the letter Robert wrote to Francesca. Very heart wrenching story and i began to give my true sense of heart to Robert (such a true love which rear found in the english novel or movie)

Yes, this novel was made into a movie which i think would give you more impact and cry bucket. Francesca is played by Meril Streep (typo)and Clint Eastwood as Robert. Film was made in the 90s and i could still remember how younger Meril acted along Clint especially when romance blooms right in the kitchen.Their body language takes so much of movement in the kitchen.They actually made love for the first time in the kitchen itself!

Now i know where you come from... 'hubby found another love ? etc ect which brought you to the dream.Why have this so vulnerable feeling dear? You have alot to be thankful to Sinseh and God for heaven sake.
Terbawa bawa dari novel yang di baca ke mimpi yang ngeri dan hati yang gundah gulana lol.
Cheers lah.

Lyana Mauseth said...

hehe ida...no matter how much i love this hunk heath ledger...i just could not bear watching this movie :((((..meremang bulu roma..even yusuf cannot watch it haha...

this book u mentioned..sampai skrg i cari x jumpa2 lagi..but will keep on looking...

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

dear len..

I am a sucker of sad love stories..i just love the tragedy of sad endings, but of course, I hope mine would not be a sad one, though.

No darling, I am not feeling gundah gulana about my marriage, everything is fine. Yes, I am a lucky person to be wedded to a good man, only that, am I good enough for him?

I do not wish to watch the movie as I do not want it to spoill my visions of the characters that I have conjured while reading the book. I've seen the dancing scene in the kitchen, though..I think Clint Eastwood looked rather skinny..hehehhe

Ida Hariati Hashim said...

ala lyana, kesian i tgk u still looking for the book..u kena order online kot...rugi if tak baca..:)

lenzaidi said...

Ida ida,
So you want to hold and safe the truth or the motion in print rather then in 'life sequence or the movie'.Lagi syok tengok the movie because the two were still looking young and vibrant.And for Meril to play role as an italian woman is just so moving phewittt and kelas giteww along with that skinny but hell good looking actor playing robert the National georgaphic journalist.
See sureal lah darlin.

Hols suck when you lost or 'misplaced' some of the students papers for marking.You know even the last week of school term hancus! nak invigilate lagi,nak abis the checklist green paper and to spring clean the desk How could that woman put us in such s---!.Nak bersuara dia yang lebih 'pandai'
cheers :-(

Ida Hariati Hashim said...


the school called me..i malas jawab..no way i'm going there during holidays..

i belum start marking my form six essays..no mood lah..nanti lah bisok-bisok i try..hahhaha

P/S: I tak gemar sgt guys kurus ni..biar yg tough sikit bah, macam sensei..tido atas lengan best wo..

lenzaidi said...

So to speak...
Mimpi tidur atas lengan Si Popeye the sailor man..ehheh.
They are yet to call me, lets play possum.:-)