CrazySexyCool...

I am at work, sneaked out from the buzz of the room, now enjoying my Ferrero Rocher. Man how chocolate can turn me on..hehehheh. Merapu!

Have you seen the movie, Brokeback Mountain? Friends think the movie is yucky as there are scenes of two hunks locked in passionate kiss. Well, I think it is a masterpiece. It is not a typical love movie that ends with a predictable ending.

As usual, I cried as I watched the final scenes...damn, I could feel the LOVE between the guys..I am longing to feel love again...something passionate and crazy..No, I am not sick, just being my true self, not afraid to be honest to what I feel..I know what I want and I know HOW to get it.

After the movie, I decided to commit to another bloody excellent masterpiece, the book entitled "The Bridges of Madison County". I have read the book before, but I know I simply have to read it again..This passion I have inside needs recharging. As I tore the pages, I knew I'd soon come to favourite part of the whole story. No, it is not the passionate love making ritual of Francesca and Robert. I love the part when Francesca firmly decided that she shall not run away with her lover as she was pretty much tied up with the sense of duty towards her family. I like this. You see, I believe that a love story does not necessarily end in the exchange of vows. Marriage is a risky business, what started as a smooth sailing might end up in a wrackage. My point is, why take the risk of doucing the flame of passion when you can treasure it in your heart and mind. I feel sad to witness so many love stories end in divorce. How do you hate someone you used to love so much? How can these emotions from the opposite ends interchange?

You need to read the book to understand my point. I am a passionate being, I cannot help it, I am true to my heart. Last night I dreamt of my hubby being in love with another woman, I woke up glad that it was just a dream. This morning as I reflect upon the dream, I was searching for the exact emotion that I should feel. Should I be angry? For what? Then I figured, if he wants to be in love with another, so be it. I cannot stop him nor he can stop me. At least I know he still can love. But why another? Well, maybe I have been idle or dull that motivate him to change his course. I cannot be so selfish to restrain him from being a man. I just do not want to be the last to know about this, and that he must never forget his responsibilities to the family.

I wish he could give me the similar space that I am willing to give him. But then, coming back to reality, that kind of understanding only happens in Utopia. He is definitely going to get himself "killed" if the dream becomes a reality!

Anyway, here is the clip from the movie. Man, I really love Heath Ledger. Rest I Peace Heath, will always love you!