Some advice to my 22-year-old self..

Dear Friends,

I believe whatever befalls onto you today is the result of the path that you have taken in your past. I admit, sometimes we make bad decisions, but I believe we should give credits to ourselves for having the guts to actually make that decision. Yes, I have stumbbled upon so many obstacles to be who I am today. I am neither a rocket scientist nor the late Lady Di, but I believe I do have worth in this world.

Here, I am writing to myself who was just 22 years old. This was the time when I learnt about myself. It was tough being on your own..searching for an identity at the wrong places. I hope none of my kids would go through this, especially my daughters. Nevertheless, I have no regrets as my mistakes have taught me that life is beautiful.

So friends, this will be my advice to a 22 year old Ida Hariati Hashim..I am reminiscing my life during this turbulent year..

Ida, you are thinking of dumping the guy, but you are so afraid of being alone. I know you can't stay home that long as mama was always hostile towards you. Yes, you want to share your inner thoughts with her, but I know you just would not tolerate the misunderstandings that might arise. Dear, she is your mother, you are her only daughter, of course she has her worries. I know as I am a mother too.

About the new circle of friends that you have now..be careful, dear, for they are fair wheather friends. You will encounter more of this sorts of friends later in your life. So please, don't get yourself too close to these fellas.

At this point of time, you are longing to be good looking..hehhehe. Even though you do not have much to wear for your late night outings, and that you are longing to don that off shoulder black sexy dress that you saw a girl was wearing, it is not worth it. I know you want to impress others, but what is the point, you have such brilliant smile and personality so no need to expose your physique unnecessarily!

You are playing with fire now..what is the point of being on a rebound? The hell with him. If it is over, then the guy does not deserve you. I wonder what do you see in him? Is it because he is a good orator? Ida, I know you..you still stick around because you have this guilty conscience towards the other one before, right? Let it go, dear. I am sure he has forgiven you.

In few weeks' time this current one is going to leave you for another chick..but know what, you will not shed a tear..You will feel as if a big concrete has been lifted off your shoulder..Don't know why, you will cry for a different reason..perhaps you are just lonely. I know you want to be home with your mama and ayah.

Then, after the break up, some irrelevant guys will come into your life..even the one you left will come knocking on your door, but of course, being a principled person, you won't 'jilat benda yang dah ludah'. Oh yes, don't be too egoistic, you are not THAT good looking. Jangan perasan!

Don't get yourself entangled with that guy driving the yellow sports car. He leads an expensive lifestyle, yes, but don't waste your time.

People are busy talking about you right now, you wild thing! Take good care of your health. When you are in the 30's, you will feel that your lungs have weakened and so on..Oh yes, I know you just don't give a damn about what others gonna say about you, good..but sometimes, you need to listen and pay attention.

Later, Idris, your so called Cameroonian brotha will introduce you to a guy in IIUM Waqf. This is the guy, who you think is so uncool, 'skema' and 'macam baguih', thus not your taste! Now believe me or not you are going to be head over heel for him, but knowing you, you will not suggest anything to him. You consider yourself a seasoned playa in love now, so you just ignore the feelings.

Don't know why, Idris will leave you chit chatting with this guy during the first encounter. Haha, you being so observant, will see that he looks good in that white baju Melayu..ah at last a guy in baju Melayu is talking to you...Suddenly, he asks to leave, you will tail him behind, on his way to the mosque for Maghrib prayer. At this point, your heart yearns for God to send you someone..maybe like him. At that instance too, you will wonder who is the one in his heart. Lucky girl.

You will be 23 in January 11th, by this time so many things will happen..Up to this point, you are still unsure of your or his feelings..But both of you know that the chemistry is right..

Well, I should stop right here, for I know you have other things to do..Standfast to your daily solat, Ida..and you really need to quit some of your bad habits, as you might scare the guy away...He is vulnerable as he has never seen life like you have had. So be kind. Don't try to taint him, you bad girl...hahhaha..

Now is the time to go home more often, go and bake some cakes or cookies like you used too. Don't go on a shopping spree because it is not your money. I know, as now I am earning my own cash, so I can feel the pinch! All the best to you..Luv, Kada.